Toxic Relationship Self-Assessment Quiz

Introduction:
Answer the following questions to see if you’ve been in a toxic relationship. This quiz isn’t a diagnostic tool, but it will give you a better understanding of patterns you may have experienced. If many of these questions resonate with you, it might be time to consider reaching out for support.

Instructions:
For each statement, choose the response that best fits your experience.

1. Have you ever found yourself second-guessing your own reality?

A) Yes, I often doubt my perceptions or memories.
B) Sometimes, but I can usually trust myself.
C) No, I’m confident in my sense of reality.

2. How often did you feel like you were apologizing, even when you didn’t feel you were at fault?

A) All the time, it was like I was always the one saying sorry.
B) Occasionally, when I felt like it would help.
C) Rarely, I only apologized when I felt it was necessary.

3. Did you feel isolated from friends and family during this relationship?

A) Yes, I lost touch with people I care about or was pressured to cut ties with them.
B) I became distant from some, but I still maintained some relationships.
C) No, I had support from my loved ones throughout.

4. Did you often feel like you were walking on eggshells around your partner?

A) Yes, I was always careful with my words and actions to avoid conflict.
B) Sometimes, but not all the time.
C) No, I felt comfortable being myself.

5. How did you feel about your self-esteem during this relationship?

A) My self-esteem dropped significantly, and I questioned my worth.
B) It fluctuated, but I still had confidence in myself.
C) I felt good about myself, and my confidence remained intact.

6. Did your partner’s behavior include love bombing followed by withdrawal?

A) Yes, affection would come in bursts and then disappear.
B) It happened a few times, but not consistently.
C) No, there was a steady level of affection and attention.

7. How often were your emotional needs ignored?

A) Constantly, I felt my needs didn’t matter.
B) Sometimes, but I felt heard at other times.
C) My partner was always attentive to my needs.

8. Did your partner ever blame you for things that weren’t your fault?

A) Yes, it felt like I was always the one to blame for everything.
B) Sometimes, but I was able to stand my ground.
C) No, they rarely blamed me for things I didn’t do.

9. Did you feel like you started losing yourself in the relationship?

A) Yes, I felt like I became a shadow of who I once was.
B) I lost sight of myself at times, but I tried to maintain my identity.
C) No, I stayed true to myself throughout the relationship.

10. Was your partner’s behavior manipulative, turning their mistakes into your fault?

A) Yes, they often twisted situations to make it look like I was at fault.
B) Occasionally, but I didn’t let it affect me much.
C) No, they took responsibility for their actions.

11. Did you experience heightened anxiety during this relationship?

A) Yes, I was constantly on edge and worried about conflict.
B) Sometimes, but I was able to manage it.
C) No, I felt relatively calm in the relationship.

12. Did it feel like no matter what you did, it was never enough to make them happy?

A) Yes, I always felt like I couldn’t win or satisfy them.
B) There were times I felt this way, but not always.
C) No, I felt that my efforts were usually appreciated.

13. Did you feel responsible for your partner’s happiness?

A) Yes, I felt a constant pressure to make them happy, even at my own expense.
B) Sometimes, but I was also focused on my own happiness.
C) No, I didn’t feel responsible for their happiness.

14. How did your partner react when you set boundaries?

A) They ignored or disrespected my boundaries regularly.
B) Sometimes they respected them, but other times they pushed back.
C) They always respected my boundaries.

15. Did your partner deny things you clearly saw or heard (gaslighting)?

A) Yes, they constantly made me question my memory and perceptions.
B) Sometimes, but I didn’t let it confuse me.
C) No, they never made me doubt my own reality.

16. How did your partner respond to your accomplishments?

A) They downplayed or criticized my achievements.
B) They acknowledged my successes, but sometimes seemed indifferent.
C) They celebrated and supported my accomplishments.

17. Did you feel scared to be honest with your partner?

A) Yes, I was afraid of their reaction and kept things to myself.
B) Sometimes, but I was generally honest.
C) No, I felt free to be honest without fear.

18. Did your partner use your vulnerabilities against you?

A) Yes, they used personal things I shared to hurt or control me.
B) Occasionally, but not often.
C) No, they respected my vulnerabilities.

19. Did you lose a sense of joy and freedom in the relationship?

A) Yes, everything started feeling heavy, and I felt trapped.
B) At times, but I still found moments of joy.
C) No, I felt free and joyful in the relationship.

20. Did your partner control the finances in any way?

A) Yes, they restricted access to money or made all financial decisions.
B) They were involved in finances, but I still had control.
C) No, we had a fair and equal approach to finances.

21. Did your partner use name-calling or insults regularly?

A) Yes, they would often insult me or call me names to get their point across.
B) Occasionally, but it was not a constant behavior.
C) No, name-calling was never part of our relationship.

Results:

Mostly A’s:
You’ve likely experienced a toxic relationship. Many of these signs point to a pattern of manipulation, control, and emotional harm. It may be helpful to talk to a professional or trusted individual about your experiences and start focusing on healing.

Mostly B’s:
It seems like you’ve experienced some toxic patterns, but you may also have had moments of clarity or personal strength. It's important to reflect on these signs and consider setting healthier boundaries in future relationships.

Mostly C’s:
You appear to have had a more balanced relationship, where healthy communication and respect were present. Keep in mind that even in good relationships, occasional issues can arise. Always maintain open communication and set boundaries.

If you recognize any of these patterns in your past relationships, it's okay to seek help. Understanding the signs of a toxic relationship is the first step toward healing and protecting yourself in the future. Don't hesitate to reach out for help and guidance.